Saturday, June 20, 2026

Sammi & Eriko - Walk Like an Egyptienne II - Susanna & Prince

 



The Purple Chime

The first time Prince called Susanna Hoffs, she thought it was a prank.

It was late. Too late for managers, too late for polite industry business, too late for anyone normal. The phone rang in her apartment with that hard little electric bell that made the whole room seem guilty.

“Hello?”

A pause.

Then a voice, low and amused.

“Is this the girl from the video?”

Susanna sat up in bed, one hand pushing her dark hair from her face. Outside, Los Angeles glowed in strips and dots — liquor store signs, headlights, apartment windows, all the restless constellations of people trying to become famous or trying to survive being famous.

“Which video?” she asked, because she already knew.

“The one where you look like you know something nobody else knows.”

She smiled despite herself.

“Who is this?”

Another pause, theatrical enough to be annoying, charming enough that she waited.

“It’s Prince.”

She laughed once, not because it was funny, but because reality had briefly lost its balance.

“Sure it is.”

“I can prove it.”

“How?”

“I’ll write you a song.”

That should have ended it. It should have been ridiculous. It should have been one of those bizarre Los Angeles stories you tell in kitchens at two in the morning: one time someone pretending to be Prince called me. But before she could respond, he hummed a melody into the receiver.

Not a song exactly. Not yet. Just a line — bright, melancholy, circular. A little like waking from a dream and finding the dream had followed you to the office.

Susanna went quiet.

Prince heard it.

“There,” he said softly. “Now you know.”

Then he hung up.

For three days she told no one.

Not Vicki. Not Debbi. Not Michael. Not even her closest friends, because the second she said it aloud, it would either become stupid or enormous, and she did not yet know which she wanted less.

Then came the show.

The Bangles were playing to a crowd that seemed to press forward like one organism: hairspray, leather jackets, eyeliner, college boys, girls with thrift-store boots, industry men trying to look casual near the bar. Susanna was still learning how to be looked at. She liked performing. She loved the music. But the gaze — that was different. The gaze could flatten you if you let it.

Halfway through the set, she saw him.

Not backstage. Not in some VIP corner.

Near the side of the stage, almost hidden in shadow, stood Prince.

Small, still, incandescent.

He was wearing purple, of course. Not because the world expected it yet, but because the world was slowly learning that some people did not wear colors. They possessed them.

Susanna missed half a lyric.

Vicki shot her a look: What?

Susanna gave the tiniest tilt of her head.

Vicki looked.

Vicki missed a chord.

After the show, he was gone.

Or seemed gone.

Then, in the narrow hallway behind the dressing room, there he was, leaning against the wall as if he had been painted there.

“You play like you’re all in one dream,” he said.

Debbi folded her arms. “Is that good?”

Prince smiled. “Depends on the dream.”

Susanna said, “You called me.”

“I did.”

“You hung up.”

“I do that.”

“That’s rude.”

“That’s mysterious.”

“No,” she said. “It’s rude.”

He looked at her for a long moment.

Then he laughed — delighted, sharp, almost boyish.

That was the beginning.

Not the public beginning. Not the version anyone could prove. The real beginning.

Prince began appearing where he should not have been. At rehearsal rooms. At clubs. Once, somehow, at the end of a hallway in a studio where The Bangles were working, holding two cups of coffee and offering one to Susanna without explanation.

“I don’t drink coffee at night,” she said.

“You do now.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Good,” he said, and drank both.

He was maddening. He was funny. He said things that sounded like riddles but sometimes turned out to be jokes. He could become suddenly shy, then suddenly imperial. He called her “Miss Hoffs” when he wanted to tease her and “Susanna” when he wanted to disarm her.

And she disarmed him too, though it took her time to notice.

Prince was used to fascination. He was used to people arranging themselves around his silence, waiting for it to become prophecy. Susanna did not do that. She listened, yes. She admired him, yes. How could she not? But she also interrupted him. She told him when a line was too clever. She made him explain himself. She refused to treat mystery as a substitute for kindness.

One night, he brought her to a studio in Los Angeles after midnight. The place smelled like tape, dust, warm circuitry, and someone’s abandoned takeout. A keyboard waited under a lamp. A guitar rested in a chair like a sleeping animal.

Prince handed her a cassette.

“What’s this?”

“A Monday.”

“A what?”

He reached past her, pressed play.

The room filled with that melody.

Fully dressed now. Completed. Strange and familiar. It had a little sway in it, a little ache, a little wink. It sounded like a woman trying to get to work while her mind was still in bed with a dream.

Susanna stood very still.

He watched her instead of the tape deck.

“You wrote this?”

“For you.”

Her eyes flicked to him.

He looked away first.

That was when she understood something important: Prince could perform arrogance like a virtuoso, but giving away a song made him nervous.

“You don’t even know my voice that well,” she said gently.

“I know enough.”

“And what do you think you know?”

He looked back at her.

“That you can sing bright without sounding happy.”

It was the most accurate thing anyone had said to her in months.

She took the cassette home.

The Bangles made the song their own.

That mattered.

Prince had expected, maybe, that they would sing over his version, step inside his architecture, live in rooms he had already furnished. Instead, they opened the windows. They brought in guitars, harmonies, California morning light. They made “Manic Monday” less like a Prince song handed to women and more like a Bangles song haunted by Prince.

When he heard their version, he said nothing for a long while.

Susanna waited, arms crossed, pretending not to care.

Finally he said, “You changed the walls.”

“Did we ruin it?”

“No.”

“Are you mad?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

He smiled.

“Now it’s yours.”

Their relationship became serious quietly, which was almost impossible given who he was.

There were no announcements. No red-carpet declarations. No magazine spread with them posed in coordinated glamour. It lived in fragments: Susanna asleep on a studio couch while Prince worked at three in the morning; Prince sitting cross-legged on the floor of her apartment, listening to old records; the two of them driving through Los Angeles in unnecessary silence because both of them liked the way the city looked when no one was asking them to explain themselves.

He sent flowers once.

She hated them.

Not the flowers, exactly — lilies, extravagant and ghostly — but the gesture. Too grand, too impersonal, too much like something a man sent when he wanted the world to know he could.

So the next time, he sent her one lemon.

No note.

She called him.

“A lemon?”

“You didn’t like the flowers.”

“So you sent fruit?”

“It has more personality.”

She laughed so hard she had to sit down.

After that, lemons appeared everywhere. On amplifiers. In coat pockets. Once, inside her guitar case before a show in Chicago. She opened it, found the lemon nestled against the strings, and had to turn away from the band because she was smiling too much.

But seriousness brought trouble.

Prince lived like music was a kingdom and he was its sleepless ruler. Susanna lived inside a band, and a band was not a kingdom. It was a democracy, a family, a pressure cooker, a four-headed creature with everyone’s feelings plugged into the same amp.

The bigger “Manic Monday” became, the more people wanted to make the story simple.

Prince wrote it because he wanted Susanna.

Prince made The Bangles.

Susanna got the song because Prince liked her eyes.

The gossip infuriated her.

One night after an interview, she came back to the hotel room where Prince was waiting, barefoot, with a guitar in his lap.

“You look ready to break something,” he said.

“They keep acting like we’re accessories in your story.”

His hand stilled on the strings.

“I didn’t say that.”

“No. But you don’t have to. Everyone else says it for you.”

He looked wounded, then defensive, then something more difficult.

“I gave you a song because I believed you could make it live.”

“I know that.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. But belief from you becomes ownership in everyone else’s mouth.”

That landed.

For once, Prince had no immediate answer.

Susanna softened. She sat beside him.

“I love what you gave us,” she said. “But I need to know you love what we did with it.”

“I do.”

“Not because it reflects you.”

He looked at her then.

“Because it reflects you.”

The fight ended there, but not the problem.

That was the shape of their love: magnetism and collision. He wanted secrecy, control, intensity, devotion. She wanted tenderness, room, humor, and the right to remain herself. He could give all of those things, but rarely all at once.

When they were happy, they were absurdly happy.

They wrote little nonsense songs in the kitchen. He made her dance when she was annoyed. She taught him Bangles harmonies and corrected him when he got too fancy.

“No,” she’d say. “Blend.”

“I am blending.”

“You are soloing inside the blend.”

“That’s called excellence.”

“That’s called not blending.”

He would narrow his eyes.

Then blend perfectly.

And there was the famous night, the one that would become myth among those who were there: after a Bangles show in Los Angeles, Prince gathered the whole band into a rehearsal space. No photographers. No entourage worth remembering. Just instruments, bad lighting, and that post-show electricity where nobody wants to go home because ordinary life would feel like falling off a roof.

They played Bangles songs first.

Prince knew more of them than he admitted.

He shredded through one, then pulled back when Vicki raised an eyebrow. Debbi drove the room from the drums. Michael watched with half-amusement, half-wonder. Susanna sang until her voice went soft around the edges.

At two in the morning, Prince moved to piano.

At three, he and Susanna were singing something neither of them had written before.

A slow thing. Unfinished. Too private to record.

The room changed. Everyone felt it. The song was not about Monday or fame or desire as performance. It was about two people trying to meet somewhere neither could rule.

When it ended, nobody clapped.

Prince looked at Susanna.

Susanna looked back.

For a few seconds, all the mythology fell away. No purple empire. No MTV face. No gossip. Just two musicians recognizing the rarest thing: someone else had found the same hidden room.

Later, as dawn began bruising the sky, he vanished.

But this time he left a note.

Not a riddle. Not a symbol. Not a flourish.

Just:

Stay yourself. I’ll try to deserve it.

That note, Susanna kept.

Years would make the story complicated. They would separate and return, separate and return. They were too bright together to be easy, too proud to be simple, too devoted to music to ever belong entirely to each other. There would be arguments over songs, over absence, over the way Prince could disappear into work and expect love to wait like a parked car.

But in this version of the story, they chose each other more than once.

Not as a perfect couple. Perfect would have bored them both.

They became something rarer: a private chord running underneath two public lives.

Sometimes, after concerts, when the crowd was gone and the dressing room smelled of hairspray and sweat and roses, Susanna would find a lemon waiting somewhere impossible.

On a chair.

Inside a boot.

Balanced on a microphone stand.

And she would know: he had been there.

Sometimes Prince, alone in a studio long after midnight, would play the opening figure of “Manic Monday” and hear not the hit, not the chart position, not the industry miracle, but Susanna’s voice turning his melody into daylight.

He had given her a song.

She had given it a life.

And somewhere between the gift and the life, they had found each other — not in the clean way legends prefer, but in the shimmering, stubborn, inconvenient way real love arrives when two artists realize that admiration is easy, desire is dazzling, but being known is the dangerous part.

And Prince, who could disappear from almost anyone, found that Susanna Hoffs was one of the few people he wanted to come back to.

Not because she chased him.

Because she didn’t.

She simply kept singing.

And eventually, even Prince had to follow the sound.

Friday, June 19, 2026

Sammi & Eriko seriously Consider Sal Jiang's Ayaka is in love with Hiroko

 


In Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko, the office is not just a backdrop for cute GL chaos. It is the machine that shapes what the characters can say, hide, risk, and imagine. The romance evolves as Ayaka and Hiroko learn each other, but the office culture evolves much more ambiguously: it moves from cheerful “work family” comedy, to exposed heterosexist surveillance system, to a fragile “open secret” compromise.

1. The office begins as a rom-com stage: bright, communal, and deceptively safe

At first glance, the office feels almost sitcom-like. Ayaka is the bubbly younger worker openly pining for Hiroko, her cool, polished senior. Hiroko is professional, admired, apparently unflappable, and secretly losing her mind because Ayaka’s flirting is not subtle. The official premise is very much “two coworkers who each think the other is straight,” with Ayaka trying to catch Hiroko’s eye and Hiroko not being out at work. (Comic Book Yeti)

That early office culture is organized around surface friendliness. Coworkers tease, notice outfits, comment on closeness, gossip lightly, and form a kind of casual chorus around Ayaka’s crush. It seems benign because everyone is smiling. This is the first trick of the series: the office initially looks like a supportive social ecosystem, but it is actually a place where everyone is watching everyone else.

Ayaka’s behavior also dramatizes a generational shift. She dresses more expressively, flirts more openly, and is much less constrained by coworkers’ opinions. A Lesbrary review notes that Ayaka’s fashion and comportment draw attention from colleagues, but her reactions show that she does not let those judgments stop her pursuit of Hiroko. (Lesbrary) That matters: Ayaka represents a newer office femininity, less deferential, less gray-suited, more willing to make desire visible.

But even in the comic beginning, the workplace is already doing two contradictory things. It gives Ayaka and Hiroko proximity, routine, and daily intimacy. At the same time, it makes every glance and gesture legible to others. The office is both Cupid and panopticon. Tiny clipboard with wings, honestly.

2. “Work family” culture: warmth that eats boundaries

The series gradually shows that the office’s friendliness has a cost. The “one big happy family” atmosphere makes people emotionally available to each other, but it also normalizes overtime, unpaid social obligation, and porous boundaries between private life and company life. Anime Feminist’s analysis points out that Ayaka originally used to leave exactly at 6 p.m., but after a mistake leads to group overtime, she bonds with coworkers through shared extra labor; later, she is shown willingly working overtime and being more integrated into the group. (Anime Feminist)

That is a crucial evolution. Ayaka’s transformation from punctual, more reserved employee into warm, socially embedded coworker is framed partly as personal growth. Yet it also shows how workplace culture absorbs the individual. To become lovable within the office, Ayaka must become more available: emotionally, socially, temporally.

So the workplace evolves from “setting” into disciplinary community. It rewards those who give more of themselves. It subtly punishes people who keep boundaries. And that becomes especially important for queer romance, because if work takes over the social field, then being closeted at work means being closeted during a huge portion of one’s life.

This is where the series gets sharper than its fluffy premise. Ayaka and Hiroko are not merely navigating “does she like me?” They are navigating a company culture that assumes your coworkers have some claim on your time, your affect, your romantic story, and your legibility.

3. Hiroko embodies the older survival model: competence, passing, and self-control

Hiroko’s relationship to the office is completely different from Ayaka’s. Ayaka experiences the office as a place where she might win love. Hiroko experiences it as a place where love can destroy you.

She is older, more senior, and more aware of hierarchy. The official/press descriptions emphasize her as Ayaka’s work senior or boss-like superior, and as someone not out at work despite being known in lesbian social spaces. (Comic Book Yeti) That split identity is central. Hiroko has a workplace self and an after-hours lesbian self, and the drama comes from Ayaka accidentally breaching the wall between them.

Hiroko’s “denseness” is funny, yes, but it is also defensive. She does not merely fail to understand Ayaka; she refuses to believe what would be dangerous to believe. If Ayaka is straight, then Hiroko can safely dismiss the flirting as naïveté. If Ayaka is serious, then Hiroko must confront the possibility of a workplace lesbian relationship with a subordinate. That is not just romantic risk. It is career risk, reputational risk, gendered risk.

Her older survival model is:

Be excellent. Be composed. Laugh off men’s comments. Never let queerness become workplace fact. Never give anyone a handle to use against you.

That model did not come from nowhere.

4. The Chinatsu backstory reveals the office’s hidden history

The major shift in the depiction of office culture comes through Hiroko’s past with Chinatsu. The office stops being merely awkward or conservative and becomes historically hostile.

Anime Feminist summarizes the backstory: Chinatsu, Hiroko’s first love and superior, was considered for department head; after she and Hiroko were seen holding hands, a male coworker spread a rumor that Chinatsu was sleeping with coworkers to get promoted, and Chinatsu resigned. (Anime Feminist)

This is the key historical wound of the series. It reveals that the office’s culture has been built through:

  1. Sexism: a competent woman up for promotion is made sexually suspect.

  2. Homophobia: female intimacy is treated as scandal or deviance.

  3. Rumor as governance: official policy may not act, but gossip disciplines people.

  4. Sacrificial “resolution”: the woman leaves; the institution remains.

Hiroko’s caution is therefore not cowardice. It is institutional memory. She saw what happened when desire became visible at work. She learned that the company might not need to fire you; the atmosphere can simply make staying impossible.

This also reframes Hiroko’s professional coolness. Her polished office persona is not only maturity. It is armor.

5. The office becomes “supportive,” but in a voyeuristic way

Ayaka’s public declaration of love marks another stage in the office culture’s evolution. Her coworkers respond with enthusiasm and apparent allyship. But the support is unstable and self-centered.

Anime Feminist notes that after Ayaka publicly declares her love, coworkers say LGBTQ people are more common now and that they will help her; however, Risa notices something off, and Ayaka realizes they are excited to see “this kind of couple” up close rather than supporting Ayaka herself. (Anime Feminist)

This is beautifully uncomfortable. The office has evolved from overtly hostile old boys’ club culture into something more modern, but not necessarily more liberating. The coworkers are not simply yelling “no lesbians allowed.” Instead, they consume Ayaka’s queerness as novelty.

That is a very contemporary critique. The culture has shifted from prohibition to spectacle.

Old office culture says:
“Don’t be gay here.”

Newer performative office culture says:
“How exciting! A gay romance in our office! We support you, now please let us emotionally participate.”

Both deny privacy. Both make queer life answerable to the group. One represses; the other appropriates.

Ayaka, being younger and more hopeful, initially reads coworker excitement as acceptance. Hiroko, shaped by earlier harm, recognizes that acceptance based on mood, gossip, or novelty is not the same as safety.

6. Male hierarchy remains the real ceiling

Even as the peer culture appears warmer, the higher-level male culture remains ugly. The series shows Hiroko navigating older male executives who make heterosexist assumptions, discuss younger female coworkers, and treat Ayaka’s attraction to Hiroko as something temporary or unserious. Anime Feminist specifically describes older men saying Ayaka’s crush is fine “for now” because she is young and does not need to marry yet, assuming she will grow out of lesbianism; Hiroko laughs along because doing so helps her appear straight. (Anime Feminist)

This is where the office’s evolution stalls. Peer-level culture may be more liberal, but executive-level culture still presumes heterosexual marriage as destiny. Lesbian identity is tolerated only as youth, phase, spice, or after-hours oddity.

So the office has two layers:

Horizontal culture: coworkers may be curious, friendly, even supportive.
Vertical culture: senior male power still controls what is respectable, promotable, and safe.

Hiroko lives under the second layer more intensely than Ayaka does. She knows that “everyone on the team supports us” does not necessarily protect them from bosses, HR, promotion politics, rumor, or future staff turnover.

7. The romance asks whether private love can survive public concealment

By the end, Ayaka and Hiroko become an “open secret.” They are together outside work, but they do not openly confirm the relationship during work hours. Anime Feminist argues that the ending preserves the conservative workplace dynamic: they can be together, but only through a compromise that lets the company remain unchanged. (Anime Feminist)

This is the most important point in the office-culture evolution. The office does not become truly transformed. Instead, it learns to absorb the relationship without officially recognizing it.

That is not nothing. Compared with Chinatsu’s resignation, Ayaka and Hiroko’s survival as a couple is progress. The coworkers help maintain the open secret. The relationship does not immediately destroy Hiroko’s career. There is a real tenderness in that.

But it is also not liberation. Their safety depends on coworkers continuing to be kind, discreet, and amused rather than hostile. As Anime Feminist puts it, the arrangement depends on factors outside their control: same coworkers staying, new coworkers accepting it, higher-ups not finding out. (Anime Feminist)

So the office evolves from:

hostile silence → comic surveillance → performative allyship → managed ambiguity.

That is a bittersweet evolution. It is progress, but progress inside a cage.

8. Ayaka and Hiroko represent different eras of queer office life

One of the series’ strongest tensions is generational. The age gap is not enormous, but culturally it matters. A review notes that their difference spans a period in which BL/GL became more mainstream and social media increased awareness and normalization of LGBTQ+ identities; Hiroko also entered work when there were fewer women in management and more pressure on women to behave carefully to advance. (Lesbrary)

Ayaka’s office culture is one where a young woman can imagine coming out as dramatic but survivable. Hiroko’s office culture is one where a woman’s intimacy with another woman can become career-ending scandal.

Neither woman is simply right or wrong. Ayaka sees possibility. Hiroko sees structure.

Ayaka says, in effect: “People have changed. We can be loved here.”
Hiroko says: “People are not the same as systems. Approval is not protection.”

That tension is the heart of the work. Ayaka’s optimism is necessary, because without it Hiroko may remain trapped forever. Hiroko’s fear is also necessary, because without it Ayaka may mistake applause for justice.

9. The office romance genre itself gets quietly interrogated

Many office romances use workplace hierarchy as spice: senpai/kouhai, boss/subordinate, forbidden closeness, late nights, business trips, after-work drinks. Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko uses those tropes too, but it also asks what those tropes cost when the couple is queer.

The senior/subordinate dynamic is not just sexy tension. It compounds Hiroko’s anxiety. If she accepts Ayaka, she is not only a lesbian at work; she is a lesbian senior involved with a younger subordinate. That gives gossip more material. It also makes Hiroko more ethically cautious.

Meanwhile, after-work lesbian space—the bar, the queer social world—is a counter-office. There, Hiroko is known, desired, experienced, even a “womanizer.” But that freedom exists after hours. The series repeatedly contrasts the office, where Hiroko must pass, with lesbian nightlife, where she can be legible. The tragedy is that her fullest self is temporally and spatially partitioned.

Work gets the daylight. Queerness gets the night.

10. The live-action continuation softens the office’s centrality by moving into domestic life

The live-action adaptation and sequel shift the emphasis somewhat. The 2025 2nd Stage synopsis says that one year has passed, Ayaka has moved into Hiroko’s house, and they have begun living together. (Japan Program Catalog) That premise moves the couple into cohabitation and domestic misunderstanding, meaning the story can explore what happens after the workplace confession problem.

That is significant for office-culture analysis because it changes the battlefield. In the manga’s main arc, the office is the dominant social world. In the sequel premise, domestic life becomes more central: how do they live together, touch each other, misunderstand each other, and care for each other after becoming a couple?

In other words, the sequel’s very setup suggests a partial escape from office totality. But not necessarily a full one. They are still coworkers; the original wound remains. The romance gets a home, but the office still casts a shadow.

Final reading: the office culture evolves, but the institution does not

The evolution of office culture in Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko is not a simple “things get better” arc. It is more subtle and much more interesting.

At the beginning, the office looks like a fun rom-com ecosystem: bright, teasing, full of accidental intimacy. Then it becomes a “work family” that erodes boundaries. Then Hiroko’s past reveals the older office as sexist and homophobic. Then Ayaka’s coming out reveals the newer office as performatively supportive but voyeuristic. Finally, the ending settles into an “open secret,” where love survives by becoming unofficial.

So the office changes in tone, but not in structure.

Ayaka and Hiroko win a real emotional victory. Hiroko lets herself love. Ayaka gets through to her. Their coworkers are not monsters. But the company remains a place where queer love must be managed, softened, hidden, and made non-disruptive.

That is why the series works so well beneath the fluff. It is a bubbly, silly, hot-pink office rom-com with a surprisingly stern thesis hiding under the desk:

A workplace can be friendly without being safe. It can be supportive without being liberating. And queer love can survive there—but often by becoming an “open secret” rather than an open life.

Thursday, June 11, 2026

Sammi's Gaming Sh0t- Dragon Age Inquisition: M'lady Herald-Inquisitor Evelyn Trevelyan and...Dorian Pavus?!?

 


Ohhh Evelyn, you audacious little heretic. :P

In actual Dragon Age: Inquisition mechanics: no, a female Inquisitor cannot romance Dorian in the unmodded game. Dorian’s romance is written specifically for a male Inquisitor, and that’s part of his character and story.

In glorious headcanon / modded Thedas / “Varric swears this happened but Cassandra keeps tearing up the pages” mode? Absolutely. The key is not “tricking” Dorian into wanting something he does not want, but letting Evelyn become the one impossible exception he never expected: not because she disguises herself, but because she meets him with wit, poise, danger, and a wickedly tailored sense of theatricality.

So, story mode:


Dorian Pavus had learned, over many years and several regrettable salons, that most people who called themselves irresistible were merely loud.

Evelyn Trevelyan did not call herself anything.

She simply appeared at the top of the library stairs in a fitted blue-and-black court jacket, silver fastenings catching the candlelight, pale hair like frost over a blade. She had the look of someone who had survived demons, nobles, apostates, templars, and Leliana’s silences, and somehow still had the energy to be trouble.

Dorian glanced up from his book.

“My dear Herald,” he said, far too smoothly. “You look like you’ve come to either save the world or ruin my concentration.”

Evelyn leaned one shoulder against the shelf. “Can’t it be both?”

“That depends entirely on how much damage you intend to do.”

She smiled.

A lesser man would have missed the danger in it. Dorian, being both brilliant and doomed by taste, did not.

He closed the book.

For weeks, their flirtation had been a duel fought with eyebrow raises, wine glasses, and remarks sharp enough to require healing magic. Evelyn had discovered that Dorian liked spectacle, yes, but not empty spectacle. He liked courage when it wore perfume. He liked honesty when it had excellent boots. He liked someone who could stand before a magister’s son and neither worship nor pity him.

And he did, regrettably, like watching her leave.

Especially when she knew he was watching.

One evening, after a council meeting that had somehow involved three maps, two assassins, and one very offended Orlesian, Evelyn paused at the library railing.

“You stare, Pavus.”

“I appreciate composition,” Dorian said. “There’s a difference.”

“And what, precisely, is the composition?”

He let his eyes travel with theatrical leisure: the shoulders, the waist, the confident set of her hips, the dangerous calm of her mouth.

“Defiance,” he said at last. “In a very flattering silhouette.”

Evelyn’s cheeks warmed, but she did not look away.

That was the moment Dorian’s expression shifted. The smirk softened. The performance remained, but only as candlelight remains on water after sunset.

“Careful,” he murmured. “Keep looking at me like that and I may begin to suspect you mean it.”

“I do mean it.”

The library went quiet around them. Even the books seemed to hold their breath, dusty little gossips that they were.

Dorian came closer, not quickly. He was not a man easily startled by desire, but Evelyn had startled him by arriving without apology. Not asking to be made into something else. Not demanding he become something other than himself. Merely standing there, luminous and impossible, offering him a door.

“I am not,” he said softly, “accustomed to being surprised in ways I enjoy.”

Evelyn’s voice dropped. “Then I’ll try to make a habit of it.”

His smile returned, but this time it was almost shy.

Almost.

“Well,” he said, brushing a gloved finger beneath her chin, “that sounds terribly dangerous.”

“It is.”

“Good.”

Later, when the fire had burned low and Skyhold had surrendered to snow and secrets, Evelyn told him—blushing hard enough to satisfy any Chantry muralist—that there were certain accessories, certain carefully chosen inventions, certain discreet little enchantments of intimacy, should he ever wish to explore the question of what admiration from behind might become.

Dorian stared at her for one full second.

Then two.

Then he laughed.

Not cruelly. Not dismissively. He laughed with delight: bright, startled, and helplessly fond.

“Maker preserve me,” he said, pressing a hand to his chest. “You have been planning logistics.”

“I am the Inquisitor. Logistics are my burden.”

“My dear Evelyn, you have turned seduction into a war table operation.”

She hid her face in one hand. “I knew I shouldn’t have said it.”

“No, no.” Dorian caught her wrist gently. “Never deprive me of a tactical briefing that begins with blushing and ends with scandal.”

She peeked through her fingers. “So…?”

“So,” he said, kissing her knuckles, “we discuss. We laugh. We set rules. We make no assumptions. And if the evening proceeds, it proceeds because we both want it to.”

Evelyn exhaled, relieved.

Dorian leaned closer, voice velvet over mischief.

“And for the record, yes. I did mean I rather enjoy watching you leave.”

Her blush returned in full force.

He looked enormously pleased with himself.

“But,” he added, “I find I may be developing an equally strong appreciation for watching you stay.”

And there it was: no conquest, no disguise, no cheap loophole in desire. Just two impossible people in a cold fortress at the edge of history, finding a private language between them—half banter, half tenderness, half scandal, which Dorian insisted was mathematically valid if one was sufficiently charming.

By morning, Varric would notice Dorian smiling into his tea.

Cassandra would notice Evelyn walking around with the serene expression of someone who had won a battle not recorded in any official report.

And somewhere in the library, a book would be found open to an entirely unrelated page, because Dorian Pavus, for once in his life, had been too distracted to finish reading.

Which, frankly, was how everyone knew it was serious.

Wednesday, June 3, 2026

Sammi & Eriko - Walk Like An Egyptienne :P

 


Susanna Hoffs' side-eye is one of those perfect pop culture moments that somehow transcended its era to become eternal. There are a few reasons why that look specifically hits different:


**The "Walk Like an Egyptian" factor** — That sideways glance in the video (and the promotional shots around that era) came at the absolute peak of The Bangles' fame. It wasn't just a look; it was *the* look of mid-80s cool — mysterious, playful, confident, slightly aloof but inviting.


**The technical perfection** — It's genuinely great camera work. The angle, the lighting, that slight smirk paired with the sideways eyes — it creates this "caught you looking" energy that feels intimate and powerful at the same time. It's the visual equivalent of a perfect hook in a song.


**Nostalgia amplification** — That image got burned into the retinas of a generation and keeps getting rediscovered by new ones. It represents a specific kind of 80s aesthetic that's endlessly recycled and referenced.


**She actually has incredible eyes** — objectively striking features that photograph beautifully, especially when she's doing that slightly downcast sideways thing.


**Meme longevity** — The side-eye became a template for "judging you," "I know something you don't," and "effortlessly cooler than you" energy that works in almost any context.


It's basically the Mona Lisa of 80s pop stares — you can't look away, and it feels like she's looking directly at you no matter where you stand.

Monday, June 1, 2026

Sammi & Eriko: The Trad Wife Protocol

 


Oh YES. Sammi has entered her “domestic goddess with suspiciously gay motives” era. Naturally, the apron is floral, the intentions are wholesome, and the subtext has already knocked over a lamp.

Sammi & Eriko: The Trad Wife Protocol

By 5:42 p.m., Eriko had achieved the particular posture of a woman betrayed by modernity.

She sat at the tiny kitchen table in their cozy apartment in southeastern Pennsylvania, laptop open, hair slightly disheveled, eyes narrowed at a spreadsheet that had somehow become both a business document and a theological crime.

On the screen was the project roadmap for the company’s much-vaunted Digital Transformation Initiative, which, after nine months of meetings, had transformed almost nothing except Eriko’s patience into vapor.

“They want AI,” Eriko said, in the voice of a scholar standing before the ruins of Alexandria. “They want dashboards. They want automation. They want cloud migration. And yet the CFO just asked whether SharePoint is ‘the blue folder one.’”

From the kitchen doorway, Sammi watched her beloved with grave concern.

Eriko looked beautiful, of course. Eriko always looked beautiful when she was irritated by civilization. Her black hair fell over one shoulder; her glasses had slid down her nose; her lips were pursed in a way that made Sammi’s heart go kaboom kaboom little gay cannon.

But this was serious.

Eriko was suffering.

Not “printer jam” suffering. Not “the restaurant forgot the extra sauce” suffering.

This was soul corrosion by legacy process.

Sammi, who had spent the day at the greenhouse of the local hardware store explaining to a retired man that no, basil could not survive in his unheated garage “if he believed in it enough,” knew what had to be done.

She disappeared into the bedroom.

Eriko did not notice. She was busy muttering, “They still approve capital expenditures by emailing scanned PDFs of printed forms.”

Then came a sound from the hallway.

A soft rustle.

A purposeful step.

A suspicious little throat-clear.

Eriko looked up.

Sammi stood in the doorway wearing a gingham dress, a frilly white apron, and an expression of radiant domestic conspiracy. Her long red hair was tied back with a ribbon. She held a wooden spoon like a scepter.

“Welcome home, my hardworking spouse,” Sammi announced, in a voice that was approximately 40% vintage sitcom and 60% lesbian theater kid. “I have prepared nourishment, emotional support, and a modest amount of obedience.”

Eriko stared.

Sammi clasped her hands. “Would you like your slippers? Your dinner? Or should I simply kneel beside your chair and tell you that your opinions about document control are correct?”

Eriko blinked once.

Twice.

Then very slowly, she closed the laptop.

“Sammi.”

“Yes, my weary provider?”

“You work at a greenhouse.”

“I do.”

“I am not a husband.”

“Tragically, no.”

“You are a five-alarm lesbian.”

“Six, if the humidity is high.”

Eriko’s mouth twitched.

Sammi saw it. The first crack in the stone.

“Darling,” Sammi said, gliding forward with the solemnity of a woman about to rescue her lover from an ERP implementation, “you have spent all day among people who think digital transformation means changing the font in Excel. You require restoration.”

Eriko leaned back in her chair. “And your solution is… trad wife cosplay?”

“My solution,” Sammi said, placing a mug of tea beside her, “is immersive absurdity.”

“It’s working,” Eriko admitted.

Sammi beamed.

On the stove, something bubbled. It smelled like tomato, garlic, and heroic improvisation.

“I made dinner,” Sammi said.

Eriko’s eyes narrowed. “Did you follow a recipe?”

“I followed my heart.”

“That means no.”

“It means the pasta has a destiny.”

Eriko took off her glasses and rubbed her face. “I was supposed to spend tonight reviewing the vendor integration plan.”

“No,” Sammi said firmly. “Tonight you are forbidden from integrations unless they involve your tired little soul integrating with my arms.”

“That was almost poetic.”

“I’m a greenhouse girl. I know how to nurture things.”

Eriko’s gaze softened.

That was the dangerous moment.

Sammi had expected laughter. She had planned for giggles, eye-rolls, perhaps a mild lecture about the historical construction of domestic femininity. She had not planned for Eriko looking at her like that: tired, touched, and just vulnerable enough that Sammi felt her entire chest melt.

“You really did this for me?” Eriko asked.

Sammi’s silly voice faded. “Of course I did.”

The apartment was small, warm, and cluttered in the best way. Stacks of books leaned against the wall near the couch: medieval trade routes, Japanese Buddhist iconography, a fat volume on Renaissance cartography, and, on top, Eriko’s current recreational brick: Antique Mysterious Lore, Volume XIII. It had a cracked-looking cover, ominous gold lettering, and the general vibe of something one should not read aloud during a thunderstorm.

“You’ve been coming home with your light all dimmed,” Sammi said. “And I hate it. I love your light.”

Eriko’s expression became impossibly soft.

Then Sammi ruined it on purpose.

“So I thought: what would heal Eriko? A soothing dinner? A clean apartment? A wife-shaped redhead saying, ‘Yes, dear, your governance model is very sexy’?”

Eriko snorted.

There it was. The sound Sammi wanted.

Victory.

Sammi placed one hand on her hip. “Besides, I am excellent at domestic labor. Today I kept six trays of marigolds alive and emotionally supported three ferns.”

“Did the ferns need emotional support?”

“One was overwatered. It had been through a lot.”

Eriko stood, walked toward Sammi, and gently adjusted the crooked bow in her hair.

Sammi went very still.

Eriko’s fingers brushed the back of her neck.

It was a tiny touch. Nothing dramatic. But Sammi, being Sammi, reacted internally as though a choir had burst through the ceiling singing in ancient Greek.

“Your bow is uneven,” Eriko said.

“My entire moral framework is uneven right now.”

“I can tell.”

Sammi swallowed. “Is the apron helping?”

Eriko looked her over with scholarly seriousness.

“It is historically ridiculous,” she said. “Politically suspicious. Aesthetically charming.”

“And personally?”

Eriko stepped closer.

“Personally,” she said, “you look adorable.”

Sammi squeaked.

A real squeak. Not planned. Not theatrically deployed. A greenhouse-mouse squeak.

Eriko smiled, and the whole apartment changed weather.

Sammi recovered by spinning away. “Dinner! Dinner exists! Your trad wife has made dinner and will now plate it while humming something wholesome and absolutely not thinking about how you said adorable.”

“Sammi.”

“Yes?”

“You are thinking about it.”

“I am thinking about it carnally.”

“Sammi.”

“Respectfully carnally.”

Eriko sat down again, but this time she was smiling.

Dinner was served: pasta with sauce, garlic bread, and a salad made from things Sammi had purchased with the seriousness of a botanist selecting heirs. The pasta was slightly overcooked. The sauce was excellent. The garlic bread was almost criminally good.

Sammi stood beside the table, hands folded.

Eriko lifted an eyebrow. “Are you not eating?”

“Oh, I may only dine after my beloved has approved the meal.”

“Sit down.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Sammi sat instantly.

Eriko pointed at her with a fork. “That was too fast.”

“I contain multitudes.”

They ate. Eriko told her about the day.

The project steering committee had asked whether “automating workflows” meant firing Dolores in Accounts Payable. Someone had printed a PowerPoint about going paperless. A senior director had proposed naming the internal transformation program “Project Phoenix,” then objected when Eriko gently noted that phoenixes burn down first.

Sammi listened with increasingly theatrical horror.

“So they want resurrection,” Sammi said, “but not combustion.”

“Exactly.”

“Cowards.”

“Thank you.”

“No, truly. They desire the glory of the digital dawn but fear the sacred cleansing fire of not using fax coversheets.”

Eriko placed a hand over her heart. “You understand me.”

“I always understand you. Sometimes after Googling words.”

Eriko laughed again.

Sammi relaxed. This was working.

After dinner, Sammi ushered Eriko to the couch with a blanket, tea, and Volume XIII of Antique Mysterious Lore.

“I have prepared your evening program,” Sammi said. “First, you will read three pages of suspicious lore. Then you will explain a map to me. Then I will say, ‘Wow, babe,’ at appropriate intervals.”

Eriko picked up the book. “Only three pages?”

“Five if you promise not to open your laptop.”

“What if I need to check one email?”

Sammi gasped.

Eriko looked guilty.

Sammi slowly removed the wooden spoon from her apron pocket.

“You would not,” Eriko said.

“I will enforce rest.”

“With a spoon?”

“With love.”

“That spoon has marinara on it.”

“It has seen battle.”

Eriko surrendered the phone from beside her.

Sammi took it reverently and placed it on the bookshelf beside a potted pothos.

“The device is now guarded by Philodendron the Lesser,” Sammi declared.

“That is a pothos.”

“Philodendron the Lesser has aliases.”

Eriko curled under the blanket, opened the lore book, and began to read aloud in her low, careful voice.

“‘In the thirteenth volume of the compiled fragments, the anonymous commentator speaks of the Door Beneath the Door, visible only to those who have renounced ordinary time—’”

Sammi sighed dreamily and tucked herself against Eriko’s side.

“See?” Sammi whispered. “Already better than vendor selection.”

Eriko turned a page. “Almost anything is better than vendor selection.”

Sammi rested her chin on Eriko’s shoulder. “What about Waldseemüller?”

At once, Eriko brightened.

“Oh,” she said. “The 1507 map is extraordinary. It’s not only a map, it’s an argument. A cosmological proposal. A claim about knowledge itself. Imagine seeing the world being renamed before your eyes.”

Sammi watched her.

There she was.

Her Eriko.

The exhausted project manager began to vanish; the scholar returned. The woman with a lighthouse mind. The woman who could fall in love with a contour line. The woman whose joy arrived quietly at first, then lit the whole room.

Sammi’s plan had worked so well that she nearly forgot to keep being ridiculous.

Nearly.

“So,” Sammi said, “as your trad wife, I must ask: would you like me to embroider Waldseemüller’s coastline on a decorative pillow?”

Eriko looked down at her. “You don’t embroider.”

“I could learn.”

“You would stab yourself twice and declare war on thread.”

“That is likely.”

Eriko slid an arm around her waist.

Sammi hummed happily.

The touch was tender, but there was a little heat in it too. Not urgent. Not explicit. Just that familiar private current between them, the one that said: you are home, you are wanted, you are mine in the gentlest possible way.

Eriko’s fingers settled against the apron tie at Sammi’s back.

“You tied this badly,” she murmured.

“I tied it seductively.”

“You tied it like a panicked raccoon.”

“An alluring panicked raccoon.”

Eriko tugged one ribbon loose.

Sammi’s breath caught.

Eriko noticed, because Eriko always noticed. Her smile became quieter.

“This costume,” Eriko said, “is silly.”

“Yes.”

“And ideologically incoherent.”

“Extremely.”

“And probably flammable near the stove.”

“I accept the risk.”

Eriko leaned close, her lips brushing Sammi’s ear.

“But you wore it to bring me back into the light?”

Sammi nodded, suddenly less giggly. “Yeah.”

Eriko kissed her cheek.

Then the corner of her mouth.

Then, because Sammi was helpless and predictable, Sammi made a small noise and practically melted into the blanket.

Eriko whispered, “My absurd little hearth goddess.”

Sammi’s eyes went wide. “Oh no. That worked on me.”

“I know.”

“You can’t call me that.”

“I can.”

“You’ll make me worse.”

“I know.”

Sammi buried her face against Eriko’s shoulder. “I was supposed to be the one rescuing you.”

“You did.”

The apartment went soft around them. Outside, a car passed on the wet street. Somewhere in the building, a neighbor’s dog barked once with bureaucratic authority. The pothos guarded the phone. The laptop remained closed, defeated.

Sammi peeked up. “Do you feel better?”

Eriko looked at the table, the dishes, the book, the ridiculous apron, the woman who had come home from a hardware store greenhouse and decided love required a costume change.

“Yes,” she said. “I do.”

Sammi smiled so brightly that Eriko almost had to look away.

Then Sammi straightened, remembering the bit.

“Wonderful. Shall I now bring dessert?”

“There’s dessert?”

“Yes.”

“What is it?”

Sammi paused.

“Emotionally?”

“Sammi.”

“Fine. It’s store-bought pie.”

Eriko nodded gravely. “A noble tradition.”

“I was going to bake.”

“That would have endangered the town.”

“I know. That’s why I didn’t.”

Eriko pulled her closer. “Good wife.”

Sammi froze.

Eriko froze too.

They stared at each other.

Then Sammi whispered, “You did that on purpose.”

Eriko’s face was calm, but her eyes were laughing. “Perhaps.”

Sammi fanned herself with the edge of her apron. “I came here to heal you and you have weaponized the scenario.”

“You handed me the weapon.”

“I handed you pasta.”

“And an apron.”

“And my heart.”

Eriko’s expression softened again. “Yes. That too.”

For a moment there was no joke. Only Sammi and Eriko, tangled on the couch in the golden lamplight, the world outside damp and ordinary, the inside world warm and chosen.

Then Sammi whispered, “Do I still have to do the dishes?”

Eriko kissed her forehead. “No.”

Sammi gasped. “The trad wife has been liberated.”

“You were never oppressed. You were doing community theater in the kitchen.”

“Lesbian community theater saves lives.”

“It saved mine tonight.”

Sammi grinned, snuggled closer, and pulled the blanket over both of them.

“Tomorrow,” she said, “I’m coming home dressed as a mysterious Renaissance cartographer.”

Eriko’s eyes lit.

“With a compass?”

“With a compass.”

“And ink-stained fingers?”

“Obviously.”

“And perhaps,” Eriko said, a little too casually, “a map that leads to hidden treasure?”

Sammi’s cheeks went pink.

“Oh,” she said. “So we’re doing that kind of cartography.”

Eriko opened Antique Mysterious Lore, Volume XIII again, smiling into the page.

“Only if the greenhouse girl is brave enough.”

Sammi sat up with tremendous dignity, apron slipping off one shoulder.

“Madam,” she declared, “I have faced overwatered ferns, mulch pallets, and men who call every flowering plant a geranium. I fear nothing.”

Eriko looked at her over the book.

Sammi immediately amended, “Except your voice when you get all quiet and commanding.”

“Good.”

Sammi made the squeak again.

And there, in a cozy apartment in a mid-sized town in southeastern Pennsylvania, digital transformation could wait. The spreadsheets could rot. The stone age could keep its stone tools for one more night.

Because Eriko was laughing.

Sammi was glowing.

The pie was adequate.

And love, absurd and tender and just a little bit wicked, had once again pulled them both back into the light.

A tiny echo of Sammi’s more devotional love for Eriko hums underneath this sillier scene too: the sense that even Eriko’s smallest gestures can feel sacred to her, like in the uploaded poem’s image of Eriko’s “page-turner, margin-writer” finger becoming holy through love.